Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Longings of Christmas

Marry the longings you have had
devour the unborn dreams
celebrate the dreamt in a portion of good
and wish yourself for much more
with the days passing by

Chase the moon of heaven
with a golden streak of thought
Junk the sorrows of yesterday
look forward to a new chunk of
today
Maybe it will get in the amity needed

Let your tears run down wild
to start afresh,
a day after Christmas
Let the bells ring around
to let you hear the sugar songs
Let the colors glow in dark
to make you introduce to the shine
of life

Let the world sing carols tonight,
To make the Santa enter a fruitful sight
So that anybody could wish for a
Healthy Christmas as ever !!

Merry Christmas

Thursday, November 21, 2013

A letter to be a "published author" ! Unconditional Bliss !!

Theres no other feeling higher than an emotion of uncounted happiness. Not just that, it is that matter of atoms as to say which makes you and could break you. I had never known that starting from one blog would make me into a published author today. This feeling is much much much greater than any other birthday, anniversaries, walk outs, graduations etc etc. With this much of unconditional exhilaration, I have indeed abandoned all my sorrows of yesterday and present. It feels one heck of a person right now knowing that people NATIONALLY, INTERNATIONALLY would read my work in the Published book named "THIS TIME AROUND". This was a total unexpected overwhelming emotion, I can not hold onto this sort of bliss but its REAL! Latika - PUBLISHED AUTHOR Bring it on. Lots of love and honor to all my supporters and time which caught me offguard. Today.
21st NOVEMBER 2013!


Have never been so definite about anything before. Your work creates you. :) And today I am a published author at the age of 21. Couldn't get better. Rejoicing ! 


Thursday, November 14, 2013

Vivacious Love.


"Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead"


This is what the moments of silence were whispering. I had tried to shut those intervals down the very moment, but it didn't work. I had to put up with the broken graveyards. Sometimes, i would just look at the moon, breathe hard and would let it go. Wondering if you look at the same moon like I do. Like I try to touch it, do you too? I have been wondering if walking in the vacant lanes of love tear you up too. The solemn creepy sounds time had to make, for my realization of loneliness. It didn't stop. I know we have had gallons (not tons) of good times shared. It wouldn't be filled in one line, but ya know what it is. You really do know what they were called collectively as a group. "Love tales" !



It is amusing how literally one second could give you a flashback of your past or a gleam of your coming days. It is astounding how without any notice, people come and walk away from your life. This world seems like a faulty one. Where I feel nothing could be right and if you get that sensation of having it right by your side, then it is a wave of water you are riding on. Because you told me once that - "Love could be replaced, but not forgotten". I know you might have not loved me for long, but I tell you what. It was there for one full lifetime compressed in a limited moment. I had made your heart beat and slow it down like it was a haze. Blessing it was for you to make me feel loved, be it for one single dash. Just like forgetting the known tune is absurd. Just like all other eras and eternities we have had well balanced between us. Those were the juvenile days of purity, now it is all about conditions. But I can't be alone in a battle of two. 



It is what I beg, not to forget me. I wish the very best for you, now and forever, and everytimeyouwouldbetheretender. Because as we now have accomplished is a statement of melting words, I couldn't succeed in that love, but it did hurt like crazy. Like it never did before. 



Good Luck with all motions of blessings

Heart

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Now and Forever. (II)

I don't know when it happened. But when it did, all I ever did was regret. Then came an instant in my short life where he proved me that there could be nobody best for me than him. He proved me that he is the one to make it worth a damn while. And he would be the one to just go out there and yell out my name even if it was (god forbid) his last wish.

He does everything and anything to see a damn sunshine face of mine.

He knows my birthday and not an excuse.

He knows the date and time of my damn mood swings.

He knows when I am not asleep.

He knows when I am studying, working, driving etc etc etc etc etc.

He knows EVERYTHING. This guy knows me in and freaking out.

Keeping all this in mind, I fell for him. There are shortcomings in every sweet individual. He has em to. I have em to. You have em to. Literally everybody. But getting a diamond in the rough castle would be a fair deal to the fate. So,

I accepted

The fate of his to mine .

We have rebounded now. For now and very forever. 

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Ek Baar Phir . . .

Shaam ke hote, mera chup jana
Sansanati lehron par baethke
tera muskurana
Aahat ka woh behka sa pal
Ek baar phir roye hum, bina aaskhon ke

Aise waade hazaar the
Mere iraade kuch aur the
Aaina palat chuka tha
Raat thi, Doli ka waqt tera
Fir rula gaya humein, bina aaskhon ke

Pyaar ke izhaar me deri
Meri zindagi  se khwaaishey teri
Marte dum tak tadapna
Teri justajoo karna
Ek baar phir roye hum, bina aaskhon ke

Koshish us badal ke peeche ki
Baarish se taaruf karna
Toofan ka beech me shaamil hona
Fir rula gaya unhe, ek baar bina aaskhon ke.
 

Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Tiny Tales

Our eyes had met for the tenth time now
with a golden shine on the peak
trying to convince our sights to
speak a little
for the sake of the
love which had been rekindled.

And then, later, however
after 20 years

We never got into a tiff again.

____________________________________________________________________

She knew she had no illness to suffer from
yet her mind was into it
for several years when she finally witnessed
no response from the statue
the 51st time, it had moved

shook itself apart

And broke itself into pieces of now and later.

_____________________________________________________________________

He never knew he possessed those powers
Like when he was scribbling down on paper
the desires of his tomorrow,
his hands were transformed into feathers

For his time had come in the day to
be with his fellow birds.

Being a human was a choice he sustained.

_____________________________________________________________

Abduct the bitterness in me,
swallow the serenity
carry the soul upwards
and crush the menacing
ambiance around me 

And then ..... Then set me free
and visualize the novelty. 


_____________________________________________________________________

And we cursed time like it was not going to hit us back

But it did.

5 weeks later, he committed suicide with my best friend from 165th floor.

________________________________________________________________________

"It was magic that she was creating,
with her lips floating on the paper
& hands designing the art in the sky.
It was a desire she had, 
to point them & then 
Haunt. 

She was an immortal Witch".

___________________________________________________________________

She's like an evergreen beauty
she's everything I compare her to
she's magical,

They lamented : "Why"
I whispered: Because she's a non existing reality.

_________________________________________________________________________

The ex lovers had bumped into each other
for the 60th time now. 
A new story had evoked at the very
61st interval

In the form of God. 

___________________________________________________________________________

I don't want a handsome guy. I want somebody who is successful. 
Not in the Guinness book of World Record but with his passion. 
Good looks come with money. Talent comes with effort. 

___________________________________________________________________________

He should be able to flaunt his passion in a way that mediocrity smirks.

___________________________________________________________

Pain only happens to those who are outrageous. Wimps are not lucky enough to go through that light.

_____________________________________________________________

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Losing the Battle 'Remains' Easy

There have been gazillion times of mishaps with me 
or perhaps the intended back steps
I have taken
Every time I go to prove myself in front
of a large crowd or just there. 
My hands faint
and my eyes shake
Like the good god is arriving
to filter my sins
Through the bitterness and crunch in me,
Deep own...somewhere
I...I so believe the rhyming of life
Full of spoons,
Full of knives
I bow in my presence to be a holy wish
Every time a foot step I raise  forward
the failure of the future envisioned 
Rushes down my spine 
Entering and residing in the veins of a defeated self. 



Saturday, August 24, 2013

Death of a soul

She was drifting away to the other shore of life
where life was a different case than
getting along with your grown up kids
she knew, Mrinal would never get along with her
like she does with other mothers
Yet, Suhana (she) had a ray of hope
that perhaps some Tuesday of the week
Mrinal would not hold a grudge against her
Oh Well, Tuesday was the day when Mrinal used to
throb her mother in a room black and blue
A day which Suhana noted in her journal
with a tear uncovered.

She hoped that maybe someday Mrinal would
treat her with the equal morals and values as
she does with others.
Suhana had suffered a lot allready. And now
This?
Beatings from her own daughter
The sound of deaths she had imagined
and curled herself into
were intimidating.
A piece of no commence.

She tried hard to bond up with Mrinal,
be her buddy of blues and bliss
Though it worked for a short span
but never got carried through time

With no longer than 3 months
which Suhana had endured
she committed suicide
in the memory of Mrinal
keeping her in mind
Mourning for her own soul
and her daughter's
with bare cracks.



Monday, August 5, 2013

Audacity [she carried]

" She was done travelling around the world in her way. It was her 7th month of pregnancy and she had finally bathed into a new sense of life with a new spirit. She didn't just care for the ones she loved. But also for the ones she had no contacts with. She said she liked being around the unknown, to have them known and dwell in their hearts of variant mettle. For once, she had been out of her shoes and stepped into a contrasting world. Very peculiar. The dreams she had never endured before were a temporary part of her routine. The ones with green and blue colors. The ones that had a blur ray of hope. Like it would stay she aspired.

She had compromised with the nature a few times already. While her walks got slower with time, her longing to be a mother wasn't lasting. She was a woman with an objective. A soul with a difference. A character of solemn commitments. A lady of dense words. When she liked being loyal to all her characters, she feared being audacious to herself. Because she knew that soon he would rupture her bones and shatter her soul without a tear.

And just for once, there and then, she would fall apart in all aspects. With tears of her gone unborn. "

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

He loves. I watch him love.

He send me flowers.

Write me novelty rhymes

Make my right eye tear up first.

He is nocturnal

As if he has been born just to devour himself to me.

Serene. Alluring. (The babbles of his breath breathes a new wonder)

A gentleman of extreme regards and obligation

He is an utter synonym for devotion.

Why is not the world like him? I wonder how he holds his stability?

One who notes me down a desire everyday as he talks

Just to make me feel Loved.

Sweetheart, you are so complete even in being incomplete

If that is what love is than the passion in me has been

Rekindled.


Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Chastity

For one moment the sky had turned into
Molten blue
Her life had evaporated
And transformed into the
Hues she had gone through

And from "above"
The voice exclaimed,
"I am one of your emotion
Would be showering as hail now
Not your tear" !

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Spring love. Cheesy

Write me in a summary
the flaws and goods of me
in a form of pristine words
recited like a ballad

Full of kissed roses
and loved tulips
flowing down my silk cloak
onto the right side
of pallets of color

Blow me in a prose
in the mixture of air
adorn in a rainbow 
chunks and lumps

Rotate the portion of 
your rested love
above my knees
and propose me 

Like you had twenty seconds to 
live for
and a minute to rest your breath
on my grilled cheeks
asking for a favored "yes"

Friday, June 14, 2013

The untitled Rawness!

At times it is just the rage I deal with. The urge to purposely fall off the stairs and be fractured for the rest of the week. Or perhaps just punch a boxing bag for the next critical hours. I am not able to really put my words into a sentence, rather I would deal with it by crashing my hand into something compact.

Is it me or the world around me which would never be ethical? or to be put into much better of a synonym I would use the word believable!! I don't really know. It is hard to put yourself into something you have been getting out of. Feels very indifferent and paranoid to no towers. No No No dear.. It is not a do or a die situation. It is a live or a kill situation. Lol!

Yes it is. Tell me how advices and counseling don't work during this hindrance. So KILL OR LIVE! I ll go for it. I ll live it, killing makes me torn my flesh. I will act patient.

Breathe in

Breathe out.

And

AMEN!
Works. 

Monday, May 20, 2013

Reminiscing love ....

I had said nothing
Yet the land was on its top notch
Ready to be stormed
But this time it was quite of a peculiar emotion                                
And I think it stayed a minute longer
With him levitating
Into the smoke of green and violet clouds.
A little dark, a little misty
While I took a step ahead to walk a few miles
The rains had begun
And I froze
Surrendering myself to his indivisible presence
With a black tear in my eye
Hoping to have him spoken
For once..
From the shaken trees and grey ambiance

The world he had never shared before
Is now there.
After he departed.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Goodbyes don't work for long !

I happened to miss you even on the deathbed
with my unheard hunger and
unseen salty rips on the face
when it was an eclipse
I thus recalled
                    When you had first visioned your victory,
                     In a ground among five thousand runners.

It was that imperative of a time
like it was never to return
as a winner amid chiliad
the chilly snow we had experienced
and the hot foam love we had committed
ourselves to
                 Made sense after a milestone.

And believe the inner me,
there was nothing so like wild after that
which shook me all the way
placing my heart on a stove to burn
When I was like so singed
                                     In the room 507
                                     of Salvage Hospital.

Uttering the last phases out of my gasp
you placed your hand onto me
aiding the wounded courage
That I will be present again in your summary
of your success,
Seeing you trip again on a set of
                                             Honor you had bestowed upon me
                                             With a flavored history of rare you.
                     

Friday, March 29, 2013

The First Glance

One:

I told you right
it was happening
little by little
when the tainted windows were
roofed with mist,
also the ground suffused with
salmon images of you with
tones of black... sobbing in your fondness

Three:

The way you used to nudge me
with the broken lanes you have had a walk on
little by little
it was all real
like I was romancing with your
red floating image,
touching peppered borders of your lips
a little black, a little brown

Five:

And you turned back every time you walked an inch
on the wooden platform
to sip on the left coffee
with your crimson lips
gulping it in a total of five breaths

Seven:

Then, you touched my cheeks
with your pallid fingers
and you uttered,
 "You are mine, wholly".
with a smirk and lustful madness
and you moved your hands around my waist
a little higher, to get a texture of my curves.

Nine:

For exactly 20 minutes we were breathing
each other,
with a strange comfort around
a little dusky and copper of a color
you pulled me for the last time
Like you wouldn't feel the butterflies again

Eleven:

Moving on, we walked
and it seemed immortal
with the brushes of roses and carnations
had concealed your mind
like I failed to . . . pure slightly
And we osculated , again
Not noticing,

That we stood at the airport.
Losing ourselves in galaxies of time. 


Friday, March 22, 2013

A New Start?

It was here,

she was passing the interval of keeping him

in her anticipation

And it was a feeling of 'the gone' again

Cliched butterflies and a violin backdrop

Or maybe a different title this time?

Perhaps it was,

                     love with a better ending.

In easy words.

Hope!


Saturday, March 16, 2013

D.E.P.A.R.T.U.R.E

It was fading
with every sip of his
lightly,
And her mascara was smudging
around the corner of her eyes
she was ceasing the ache in her
vision,
But nothing went well
and when she finally departed with the one
He figured that was it.
An acute pain rose in his brain
hitting his blood vessels hard
Ending up with a stroke

While she turned back and held rivers in her eyes,
Oceans of blue mist
And a fairy tale

Which they lived on reminiscing
Now had bid a farewell,
To the lovers of an era
Opposite the stream. 

Monday, March 11, 2013

A little Boost ~

Yah,

It was reaching the point when I stepped back and uttered to myself, "You haven't even felt the meaning that deep, then why are you doing this to yourself? Move back and give yourself a chance to live again. Forgetting everything that one day I stepped forward to set new goals and claimed to be near perfection. When other could be then why can't I be one?

Since then,
I been living on the edge. Not playing with my life. But have learnt to take risks and abandon the hindrances.

Now, I paint for a living. Very casual.

P.S - I was committing suicide. I am glad it clicked you.

© Latika Sareen

One of my Extreme Favs.



Someday when I get on the dancing stage . . . this is one of those songs which are on my top list to perform on . .

I have been a dead fan of this song since it came out and to be genuine, I cant really wait to have a distinctive choreography on this song. So So Soulful.. :)

Bollywood should not be backing off from composing such tunes and melodies. Its extreme !! 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Tanhaai

Muddat ke baad tumhe jana hai
Khamoshiyan sataati hai ab
Guftagoon karein zehan se kuch
Khilkhilaat teri rulaati hai ab

Shikwa hai tumse
Ye ki tumne hume abroo na rakha
Waqt ka khel humne tarasha
Tumne bhi honsla na rakha

Haste rahe bechaineyaan leke
Ye sochke ke nayi manzil aayegi
Kya pata kisi daur pe humein
Zindagi naye aashiq se milwaayegi

Aawara dil ne ye bhi maana
Ke ye to ek riwaaz hai
Chahne ki tamanna hai ek khwaish khud me
Tumko lekar ishq ek raaz hai

Ruswa bhi hui
Manaya bhi nahi, jaane kis shiddat se chaha tumhein
Shabnam ka aansuon par kaliyon ka muskurana
Apni khushi se aana, apni khushi se jana

Rote hue phool sa tera aashiyana
Gale lag ke jaise taaron sa jhil milana
Mud ke dekho, dagmaga na jaaye
Marke kabr se tera, mere liye wapas aana

Behti nadi jaise hum kabhi na kabhi toh milenge
Shayad woh pal abhi haseen ho
Rooh jaisi sargam, lehraati ho tan pe jaise
Mujhse zyada tera aashiyana rangeen ho . . .

© Latika Sareen

Friday, March 1, 2013

Ja-ne-Jahan

Tere bina rehne ka andaaz aa gaya hai
Jee kar bhi na jeena raas aa gaya hai 

Shaano-shaukhat sab darbaar pe hai
Bas dilbar se bichadne ka makaam aa gaya hai

Ruk gaya hu main idhar udhar jaate
Bhatakte, apne hi chaukhat pe girte giraate
Kashtiyon ka adhura kinara aa gaya hai

Dene the jinhe ashk ki saza
Woh hi insaan benaqab aa gaya hai

Kabhi na socha the humne, "Aashiq" us ke liye
Diye jo udhaar aab-deedah unhone
Jawab ab dene ka waqt aa gaya hai. . .

© Latika Sareen

Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Meaning of Sufism


The precious tones which linger even when the lyrics are gone .. Give it a listen, to all Sufi lovers . . .
One of my personal Favorites.

- Latikaa 

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Pet Moments :)


On her 21st Birthday in the City (Times Square) !! The times of sheer gaiety and joy. Such exact moments might not happen again, but I am sure that better ones would always be welcomed. For you - 

    “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” 
                                                         
__________________________________________________________________________________
The times of all randomness in our perverted minds; to mess around and just be the most awkward species for the time being. Oh its us ! When we click ourselves in any goddamn situation from being the very best to the ugly looking ones (just saying). But 'You' being so precious counts. Even if it is in the trial rooms of the clothing stores. Oops. 

“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.” 
― Nicholas SparksThe Notebook


___________________________________________________________________________________
Oh these times i really do miss. When you used to come to my house for homeworks and your essay corrections. And half of the time we used to waste making videos and clicking shots of each other. The real moments of happiness when friendship won at its best. You sucked at making me serious for your work and always cracked me up with your hilarious essay formats. Oh Noor Darling, how do i get over these cute moments? 

P.S- You will succeed in English some day with my help. LOL 
For you - 

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” 
― A.A. Milne

___________________________________________________________________________________
Oh God!! Remember this? This was one of our craziest days we have ever had you stupid fellow. Look at your monkey poses and jackie chan splits lol. Near Hudson river when we sat and took endless pics with kids around us bugging. Huh ! Wattaa dayy maa girl.. I miss it to be honest. Our retardness has no limits for sure. But Thanks for being a part of it from top to bottom. :* 

“If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking , they can make you laugh.” 
― P.C. Cast

:)

___________________________________________________________________________________
This was on 4th Feb, Shakti's bday. One of those clubbing nights we had, woahhh.. More than just dope! Our sexiness flowing through our dresses and our cravings for capturing the gone moments. Noor, you make all special. Even though you are a girl, you are more like my boyfrrrriend.. Sheesh I freaking cherish you girl. And your insane jolly molly times. Again! 

"True friends party even when they get apart" 
- Latikaa 

___________________________________________________________________________________
14th October Kutti. Remember this day. 2012, October. This was when we had celebrated my 20th. I have never had those fun instants. Especially a person like me who doesn't really get all high for birthday parties. Blahh.. But thanks though for making it special in bits with rest two retards of mine <3
Love you holly molly much. 

“If you have two friends in your lifetime, you're lucky. If you have onegood friend, you're more than lucky.” 
― S.E. Hinton

[I guess I am more than lucky, smiles**]



The Major junctures have been detailed up there. Rest refreshing moments are not installed in my memory for now. I love you, you bloody fatty head. You afghan ass is sexier than your face and your eyes are mashallah one of a kind. Muah!! 


  © Latika Sareen
                          

Monday, February 18, 2013

Dark Hunger

Somedays,

In the middle of the nights,

I tend to stay up,

Dreaming of you with wide open eyes

And my hair straightly entangled in loops

Printing with my dainty hands,
S Heart V

Wanting to be intimate with the one living soul

Among all heartless ones,

And that is when I plant a kiss on my pillow

Thinking of you in profound Silence

Speculating if you will ever replace my pillow on the same bed of mine

With Coffee brown bed sheets and the flower patterns in sea green color

With me over you,

or Maybe

'All' Over you . . . Now,

I shut my eyes. Lets take it ahead.

© Latika Sareen

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Another Chapter with him . YAY

He was back on February 8, 2013 to me. We finally thought of making another chapter with some refreshing memories. I don't know how ideal was I in a relationship with him. But when he finally got back to me, I was  at ease with a blunt smile deep down inside. It was a pleasure mixed with rage and a fuss. Yes yes yes, I did blow up at him a little; uttering some swollen words. But, in the end he never wanted me to leave. We have been a part of each other from exactly 4 years now. How could we walk away from one another when we were present in the bounces of anxiety and jubilation. I do not know if I would be able to put up with the distance again. Nevertheless I could just say one thing that I have loved you the most in 21 years. Like MENTALLY, LITERALLY, PHYSICALLY . . And any other form ending in 'ly'.

O boy ! "You have also been my infinite desire and a rare devotion". We have also had tiffs and clashes regarding something or the other. Mostly, misinterpretations. But I think when we have actually deeply and firmly needed to confess that we are not made for each other. We have surpassed that with a lively gesture. No matter how many months we have between us . . We know that the feeling of being starved for one another wouldn't go anytime. I have accepted that no one else would love me as you. No one else would desire me as you. The 'n' no. of times when I have tried leaving you behind, you have held me back . . . requesting and making up to all the blunders and unsatisfactory signals. I confess that I do not NEED you by my side but I heart you with all my inner warmth and substance. You know we don't address each other with the fancy tags of : Baby, Jaan, Darling, Munchkin and what not. Love still is there, and it is very much mature in our sense. I believe so.

There are no SOONS AND LATERS in our love story. Regardless all, we have to bump into each other and have a filmy twist with glares and everything. You know what I mean, Sweetheart. Since we have begun on this new chapter again, I would wanna tell you one thing directly that : "I love you more than any other emotion I have ever had any mental encounter with. There is a craving as a wolf's prey in me. To be found and played by you. Touched, cuddled, kissed, made love to, breathed, inhaled and blah. There is no ending to my levitating illusions filled with you. This cordial emotion of living in your romanticism will be alive for times now in my wits".

Love you
Again - Your sour lover!

© Latika Sareen

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Borrow me , for a lifetime

Beloved,

I wanna have a day with you
where we could knit our fables,
blend our histories
and laugh over nonfiction phases of our dramatic romance

I wanna sit with you, 
on the edge of the cliff
and breathe in slightly
expressing my tenderness to the sky, absorbing 
your blows and weaving our 
completed yesterdays with wet kisses

Arjun Kamath Photography

I wanna dance with you
in the most unromantic way
so you could inhale the 'real me'
featuring my child side and a woman on the same
with a roar. 

I wanna have you on the sofa by me
brushing around my ear blades
and whispering wordlessly on my neck
with your gasp
consoling me with utmost pleasure to be yours.

I wanna ask you to marry me for once
as i have been through nothing so heavenly before
as you occur so none
with a limit of nothing and pleasure of your love 
inside me and out.

Give me a moment of sheer gaiety
have me called Mrs. Smirth ,
adorn me with your concern 
in a dress melted in your pleasure
to be worn by me..

To have me live by you 
with a child of our own,
lets dream tonight . 

Just you and
me
And a carpet of blood red roses
You make me walk on.

Amen.

Cheers.

© Latika Sareen

Talafuz mohabbat ka . .

Chuke dekho,
wahin hain hum
jise chahne ki tamanna thi tumhari

dilnashin raaton ka lamha tumhara
behti nadi ka nagma
jaise ek pal ho
aur dusre pal me jhonke ki tarah 
udta milein

jaise mohabbat se tere nashe me
doobe chalein
be intehaan, be parwah
bas ek sur ko sunte sunte guzar jana

ki janasheen dilo ki
zindagi ka raag likhne chalein ho
pyar me behke..

© Latika Sareen

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Murmur of an Empty Soul - Sick "us"

23 January, 2002

Dear 'You' ,

This was the day when I had walked away from you, cutting off every relation and intimacy I had shared, 

Ever.

Do you recall the times of your disorder? I get goosebumps when I have to remind you what you had done with 'us'. Your 'n' number of mood disorders; your awful attitude towards me; the moments of mere distress and dejection . . Do you remember all this? How wouldn't you? You impaired me; my soul. How wouldn't you hence recall all the monstrous times of your own? That was the day and the date when I had made a decision to leave you as a bare character in my life and not be affected by your presence. Infact, that was the sole day of me realizing that 'you were sick'. Sick Mentally as well as Emotionally ! No you have never had no sentiments for women, but not taking that in consideration, we were 'Us'. We had a relation which certainly I gave up on. Only because, you.were.sick.

Sigh. 

We were a couple before. Remember? And now, we are plain outsiders. As if we have abandoned the hearty place in each other which we called, 'Home'. Not even knowing if you physically exist on this planet, I am writing this to myself. Somewhere, deep down around the core of my heart's vessel, I feature that love was present between us during that era. Yah, era because I am failing to extract the very last time I saw your shadow. I am unable to concentrate on the last text of yours, which said, "I think I am getting bored of you, or maybe falling for you in an uncanny manner, I can't decide. I ll go. Or should I"?
Following your bizarre notions with an unset mind, I had to drop down to the closure. At first it was a plain word for 'humor'. However then I replaced that with a solemn charge of your illness.

You used to hit me; thrash me; throw over your nasty times full of attitude; getting back to me without any complaints; getting away from me; being normal one second and reverse the other. . . OH! There is what not to chatter about? Hearing that an ill man is no less than a curse . . Your mood disorders were no less than heart pounding intervals for me. . I have tried to get over your presence, but I succeeded. I am sated with the life I am living on right now. At least its away from the mindless combats we have had because of your mood effects. I am married with 3 kids. But even then, there is a hope to see you or grow old with you in near future. I don't know how you would have been. It has been 20 years and I haven't inspected your dusk. I hope you are out from the hospital you were lastly submitted in for 7 months to be treated for your disorder.

We stand nowhere in each other's lives, yet I hope to see that actual beam on your face you had missed 20 years ago. I just hope you have been cured and living humanly unbroken. I - I am just sick here, waiting for my mind to return from the trip of 20 years of past. So that I feel the present again. My kids who are without a mother's shelter mentally, they .. . . . . they need me. Look, we suffered . .
Get well soon Roahl, get me well soon when you gain conscious. I think you are not here, yet you are. I don't know. My brain bothers me. I need help. I need you. Will you come? Please?

Sigh.

22 March, 2022.
Me.

© Latika Sareen

Sunday, January 13, 2013

The sign of Him. Broken.

Today is one of those often days
when I smelled the nights we have been through,
directing it to the verses of

Shakespeare,

with tranquility in one self
to be around your fragrance
like I never inhaled you that strong
from my peaky nostrils and

Sweaty hands,

Today,
We Loved.

And not just caress . . It was more than the
fragments we have heard of love.
More in terms of every painting
Picasso has ever worked on
or Neruda's history of togetherness

We Did More. In Our Terms.

And now, I am waiting for you to
leave like you promised that you will
when you devote me your whole self.

Bye.

© Latika Sareen