Thursday, August 18, 2011

Its hard bidding farewell to people or..

      Just like everyday, i end up being there at 10am.. to make sure that the person i have taken charge of is in the pink of her health.. but how would she be when ... when everything is happening the opposite?
Not a job but more likely a responsibility .. how awkward is it that some strangers happen to be a darling to you, whereas some dear ones, make you see the transformed word "dear" by them.. What a world.. what a world.. This Clan is never going to modify.. same thoughts.. same criteria.. same conclusions.. What a world!!

But when i gaze at her, questioning my own self that the lady who was so audacious, so daring is on the verge of demise herself today, i end up getting goosebumps. Life is so short.. so unpredictable... a moment a person's sitting with you cuddling, conversing and the other moment.. you are collapsed.. Just like headlines in the newspaper everyday, why cant the tag be formed on people.. Its insane, pondering over stuff like your whole life with one person, and just another minute, you end up crying for whatsoever happened.. Why??

She doesn't know she has Cancer.. and i am helpless.. cant say nothing.. However when i see her saying "I am in pain dear".. Tears roll down my eyes, convincing myself that i ll set her okay.. saying to myself that i understand, aunt, but i just don't want you to know what illness you are suffering from.. You might not have the audacity to live that single day that you been living until now after knowing it..

I aid her.. I cook for her.. I don't let her work.. I will be the person working for her day n night.. But the only thing i demand in return is for her to be bold.. and fight back life.. Coz you may die today, but that stamina and that spirit you live with , never dies..

I ll carry on with my work.. but for the ones who are fighting against this heinous disease have courage, you people should be proud of yourselves that you have accomplished what you came into this world for.. Even though your journey is ending, you should be glad your life was just as fun as a normal person now would be living.. don't frown.. you have cherished what you have had.. and now, its time to differ.. Soul in peace..

© Latika Sareen
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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Once in a while.. Bob Marley

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."
- Bob Marley

Should it be left or loved?

I have known that love does not require evidence.. or does it??? If it does then just a piece of proof justifies it? And if it does not then why do we need to justify what we mean?? These questions have been circumventing my head.. Am i supposed to leave it or adore it?? I dont know !! Yah, this is the state where i am not inclined towards it.. The answer blurred out is "I dont know".. Justifying what i have been yearning for; instead why i have been yearning for it is like punching the dead face with no sentiments of your own.. ! Does one really need an account for why they have been a loved one to us?

I justified it.. He demanded and i as a crazy lover walked behind.. perhaps weakness made me do it??
Again I dont know.. How long does it take to fall in love wit someone?? 1 week?? 6 months?? 5 years ?? a lifetime or just 24 hours?? Took me 10 mins ! 10 mins and i am prone to this one personality which suited me accordingly..
After 2 years and 4 months, the very same person is demanding which was not worth it... Demands.. wishes.. observations.. luk at all the words, a word which transforms the meaning of what you been trying to say..

Yah.. liking wudn't be enough.. it is love.. Traditional or modern? Is that even a concern in real? Or is it the 3 years difference which makes one feel that she aint thinking right?? What is it?? Why is it?? Isn't that word "love" supposed to be what it really should be?? Is decision making an issue?? What the heck is the case after all??
I have just been chasing my heart.. Chasing him so that i could own him?? And he asks for evidence.. Waa !
Nope, does not paranoid me, however such words from a darling happen to be astounding; coz i dont anticipate such?

Just one desire to be fulfilled was the condition.. It was made a big deal.. The perception might was fallacious, was that the same with intentions?? Trust, got a part in the conversation too.. Yah, staying one for him was a big deal i suppose.. Forgotten times when drunk him uttered the sober words? Forgotten times when the only tune i hummed was him gasping? Forgotten the times, when we talked and every time we did, every time i heard your voice, i had a feeling which made me close my fist and exhale? Forgotten the times, when i cancelled my plans just to converse with this one damn person?? Are these times forgotten when my 1st priority was him and then other events, people.. however he forced me to categorize em as 1st.. And i was the one not trustworthy when all i have been is loyal? Times when i filled my diary with your name.. with your notes, just because i wanted it to be a part of my recognition? And you talk trust..

You may not find any good in this generation, but this one me is ultimate.. Often times, ones who are dear to you.. intentionally; unintentionally break your trust.. But I would never dare to do that.. Because now you have been allotted something really precious - My Humanity.. My compassion.. And i so believe that i do not have to put myself to a test for anybody.. I anticipate that if you could be the best one on this planet.. then i am so much better than this public out there too.. I form my own reality.. and I; Latika Sareen wont bother to distressed anybody out of emotions... Yah, that is how you trust someone.. My foot. !! Your belief in me should have been a little firm so that the guilt of you offending me was to a lower level.. but i Still assume that miracles do happen.. Be it distance or other matter, what is meant to be would fit into each other somehow..

My questions stays identical to previous one.. Should it be abandoned or loved to the fullest..?? Just to convince myself.. My mind is not able to take over my heart.. Emotions, getting me the wrong path..
Oh love is thee !

© Latika Sareen
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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I fathom 'Us'.. I do..

 You have been close to me,
Its only you who have been;
Its me who fathom, I do
But how do I do it irrespective of the absence..

I fathom us composed;
Hand in hand
Glaring at each other;
with engrossed in thoughts..

As we come closer,
we lean, we kiss;
To feel the soul,
& give ourselves a thought..

I fathom, I do of us interacting
the day we have been waiting for;
To get along; to communicate without words
To know each other even more so that no qualms hold the place..

We are one; 1 soul 
However my love will be increasing with time just like -
The messages on everyday basis;
the letters, the stories we have created;
Symbolize something uncommon..

Dont you fathom us together?
Hand in hand;
Glaring at each other;
with engrossed in thoughts?

We desire each other, 
Our future's one..
You dont need to be worried..

I see us one in every circumstance
But how would i do it by myself without you?
Fantasizing is only what i do..  
With you... However only with you..!! 

© Latika Sareen
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List of "To be done Stuff"

Oh Lord, I have this list which never ends.. There is no particular age of doing all this, but my desire to have them fulfilled is a chimera !! INDEED !!

                   Read alot more - The last e years have been real bad in terms of reading. Even  though I am a reader, but somehow i try to stay away from books.. I am just too smart to get near them, ha ha... Naah, but today i actually fetched some novels from the library in order to keep myself occupied in this 2 month vacation.. However, I do read a lot of stuff online - articles, blogs, stories etc..  I value learning in all forms and am not discriminating hard copies to soft copies but I am still an ardent fan of physical books. I want to get back to that.

                 Drink to the fullest once in my life - Umm Usually not my type, but i believe once in a while Boozing wont be bad for you? or is it?? Do i care when i go insane? Well not really but Once in my life, I would LOVE to get drunk to the highest point. Its sort of a impression to set on people, You know.. I just like messing around.. & then get bullied later.. uhh those mates!! Naah, I have never gotten that chance of getting drunk, perhaps i dont like such companies.. yah the 2nd one is legit.. But once sounds no bad to me..

             Get Social - I am such an Introvert.. A reserved personality.. I was so born with it, BY GOD!! But i like it like tht?? I mean m not in a company of people who go on and on.. I have no inclination for them, Coz sooner or later they get me off the track somehow.. Getting on age might make me talk.. would it?? Lets see, hoping to see the brightest side of such stuff too !!

            Travel More - OHHHHH !! Its travelling.. Am i even related to it?? As a matter of fact, I do travel.. Am so not a home buddy.. But still, Travelling as in Other states, not in terms of market or picnics.. Duh !! That is so casual.. But yah.. India is my # 1 priority in terms of travelling.. Ha ha
Will soon plan to head on a world tour.. Oh yahh !! Might get lil too lavish, but ; but who cares?

These were the basic things i need to get updated with.. Some minor ones include Eating.. Exercising.. Study Mathematics.. Babysitting perhaps.. aah !! & some other stuff..
Oh yah.. I also hate being lost while watching movies.. Its like my personality trait.. Do i also need to lower down my staring level at people?? haha.. We ll talk about that later !

© Latika Sareen

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Miles dont Matter ~~

No matter what, we will be leading it together...
No matter what, we will be leading it together.. 
You are the one, you will be the one,
With a ray of sun to be in action...
It was your soul that i adored,
The rest was just to be implored..

We may be apart miles along;
I still surrender to u alone..
The meetings are termed as "unknown"
However still i yearn to see the zone..
Be it touch or a feeling..
Your face is always appealing,
There are no boundaries to our affection,
All i see is your reflection..
I am yours, hence you are mine,
Longing to be the one;
Once we feel the touch together,
All we could share is the love between us forever..& Forever...

© Latika Sareen
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