Thursday, February 16, 2012

And "IT" happened to her... The unforgettable phase of her Childhood !

       She was 11.. Perhaps a year or two younger than that. The life for her had just commenced..
The unwoven dreams, the real power, the reality of the world.. was just a blur image to her.. Yet she moved on.. she moved on at that tender age, to be a mature, fulfilling woman.. woman?? At 10? You might be thinking how young she is to even build something like "maturity" in her head.. However it was snatched from her with time.. over time !
Her family consisted of just 4 family members.. The storm was gonna arrive but she was naive to understand anything like that.. She didn't even have the worldly knowledge ! The attitude towards people was just as juvenile as that of a baby.. Her father, her grandmother, her younger brother and her dad's younger brother.. was her clan..She was never solitary without any adult's consideration.. She always had someone or the other to look after her, to take care of her, because she was lonely..
Mostly, her dad's brother (who was about 22 years older to her) always surrounded her.. Wasn't it supposed to be like a family gesture? It was yet it wasn't.. There were some freaky intentions of her dad's younger brother, but as i said, she was in her adolescent phase of life. Every time there was no one else to take care of her or look after her, he was the one who always popped out from somewhere or the other with those devil sights..

She had a plight to cry in.. Her dad used to be at work, her grandmother was too old to keep running behind her.. her brother was only 7, a kid himself.. the only being left who wanted forcefully to see her was her dad's brother.. Deliberately things were being done by him to get the girl closer to him. For god sake 22 years was a big difference. He used to pamper her, used to bribe her by getting chocolates and money, food.. blah
So being alone just with her was his only motive.. his only aim.. his only devilish purpose..
The time of the day he used to see her by herself playing or drawing, he used to catch up to her and give her that negative eye sight with no good intentions in them. However, she never was scared because he was her dad's brother who she thought of as a family..

He got her this time, alone.. He tried "touching" her, everywhere on her body she was never comfortable with.. No one was home except the old grandmother who was in another room.. He was in another room with the girl, he misbehaved, on and on but slowly by making the girl greedy for the stuff he used to get.. money.. chocolates.. toys... it wasn't even understood to her that what is he even planning to do, she had no idea what molesting was.. It was cold season while she was sleeping in her room with her grandmother in another.. He came inside ! Got in the quilt with her and touched her body ! Kissed her neck, her face, her lips. She woke up, had a sense that something is going on terrible yet she remained silent. He got on her, opened her pants, and did what he wasn't supposed to. He tried making love to her but she kept going away to a distance. She had fear in her eyes ! She was SCARED ! He was a drunkard, a terrible chain smoker.. a man of no importance.. a man who didn't have any aim in his life except molesting girls.. he was a rapist to the girl !!

He kept getting closer to her, kept kissing her with her lips with no movement.. kept licking her face and ears..
He asked her to put her hands in there.. He had those guts to ask his niece.. She refused, she tried going away from him with those fearful eyes.. He held her hand and got her back on the bed.. It was done with her deliberately.. she was bearing all; he had threatened her not to utter a word against him, or else he would not leave her.. She was silent, everyday of her life in that phase was a challenge for her to get over with. She was a prisoner in her own house. She had those sleepless nights of fear.. those moments when she used to sweat like anything in the middle of the night thinking what if he touches her again !

of course she tried telling all to her grandmother, by saying "Mummy, chachu was touching me yesterday". However, the grandma tried to ignore it by thinking shes just playing or shouldn't talk like this about her dad's brother.. she then never had courage to tell anyone because she thought no one would believe her..
He molested her.. He did by being closer to her as a family member.. Years later.. when she turned 13, nothing had changed.. The negative, intentions were still there, but now she was a grown up.. She knew the character of her dad's brother.. She stayed all distant from him, yet he appeared in front of her like a ghost figure and made her go through the ugly phase again.. she even had several fights with him screeching to stay away from her.. Would he have listened? He was a beast; a demon.. a slut !

Finally she got rid of him, she got thousands of miles away from him.. Shes a mature young lady now.. Shes sensible of judging the good and bad.. Yet whenever she sits down in an uncomfortable ambiance or see a man coming closer to her.. Her heart fails to beat.. She gets numb and tries getting away from such moments.. Perhaps that's the major reason she doesn't like MEN ! She claims "Men are dogs" every time the image alarms her.. And the man.. HE IS STILL ALIVE SUFFERING THROUGH TONS OF DISEASES AND ISSUES.. She wants him dead anyhow... But those astounding times of her teenage still gets her low and she cries.. she gets in tears..

She has faced the unexpected... She is still not out of it, perhaps she never would be... It gets harder for her to trust Men... because she knows it all now, she knows what "touching" is.. But still, it was Intimidating even then.. and its Awfully Breathtaking even now.. -_-

© Latika Sareen
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  1. Hmmm great note touches the agility & vulnerability of a female child, specifically pertaining to a traditionally knit culture as India's. Though the benefits of closeness , It can pose helpless situations as described in this article. Its a very familiar ground , as I've come across many , who have suffered and been affected for their entire lifetimes. My personal view is to not let it get to the victim from living today as Our Past can't control Our presence or Our Future. Victim has to learn the cognitive process of replacing that bad taste and memory with instant better thought of moment now . Its not easy but a learned practice of behavior which can be modified. By doing it each and every time when one slips in that helpless mode of past. Consistently replacing slowly & each time will turn One's own thought of weakness in to a slow and steady strength. Rememberring from now on One is in control now and have the ability to control whats happenning to him/her today. Otherwise the person who did the deed , is still in control . One's surviving and flourishig today, is the best revenge accomplished. We are the king of our own destiny's . We have the ability to control it from each moment from this moment onwards, that's the MANTRA to live by.

  2. For sure.. At times even though scar remains.. She endured it, noone else could better interpret it..
    But yes we are very much the masters of our own dynasty! The plight taught the lady a lot more now.. She's all sensible who to trust and not.. Nevertheless we will meet such beings a lot in our daily lives, cant just let people surrender our souls to them..
    Mantra is the one.. Ways are to be implemented ourselves :)

  3. :'(...don’t know what to say!!!
    I also wish that the girl gets best in her life and GOD punish that dog (beast).