'Mom' Phaseout

Had there been a day when she did not shed a tear
I would have forgiven her
for the sake, of a connection everyone was bound to discern
I knew days would pass
and so would the years
then there will be a time when I'll face her so changed.
changed enough to not know what I looked like,
The truth, the gravity of comprehending that I had grown
grown into a woman she hadn't known.

We felt like it was our prime meet

like despite being acquaintances

we were intruders; aliens to the faces we had hugged and kissed

Once.

It never felt so dewy and untouched,

but I had known that was it.

A new 'phase' was born,

Estranged.

The bleak vision behind the glass
had made me see that it was failing with desperation
the one I had once uttered 'maa' to,
was now like a seasoned fruit
who just appeared during her need.
I wonder why wasn't I in bewilderment?
rather, I had absorbed the dew on the grass
and moved on with that tear once shed.

Ever since then, I have lived.. I have died

within the open space of my house

have talked to the windows and wine glasses

about sadness of my own,

Not knowing that there is a part of me

already so wrecked

that it refuses to bloom again.

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen