The Feeling that lacked EMOTIONS!

I wish I was loved the same way you loved him
Unconditionally,
With no contemplation's
I wish you were there for me the time I craved for you
Like you did to him
A feeling so motherly

Perhaps I didn't deserve what he did
For I had done so wrong
By being alive yet dead inside
Like I will be left to rot
Amongst the crowd of intelligence
A feeling so uneasy

It was a sentiment of me
A part of me which
Yelled 'mother'
But you were away
As you had been, for miles now,
For sometime

Can I acknowledge you now?
Or do I speculate around in life

To be answered

If I will be loved or not . .
By a mother ?