Shadows of my Past

 There were shadows

Consistent on the edges of the room
Persistent, refusing to move
Waiting for them to succumb.

An uproar I seemed
Had teared my heavy chest
I couldn't breathe,
And mother, I fell down.

It was the shadows of my past
I had resisted, and have been so far
Like an eclipse, once in a while
It appeared. To me.

Took away the most smiles
I once wore through my freckled face
And that feeling of desolation
Bareness was filthy
Though oh mother, I was born to feel that way.

Kehar

 Roz raat ko ek wahi baat yaad aati hai
Gham tha bhara bachpan me 
Ek wahi yaad rulati hai
Beete nai the din woh khilone se khush ho Kar wale
Jab hona tha sar par maa ka haath
Woh haath tha kisi aur ka
Soch wahi tham si jaati hai

Raatein thi woh kaali kuch chupi me band
Saha itna sab aankhon ko karke nam
Paas me tha parivar jisko thi Na khabar
Beti bik rahi thi
Waqt tha bahut kam.

Savere me savera ho aisi choti si aas thi
Dil ke paas tha andhera
Dimaag me bas marne ki pyaas thi
Kya karu, Kya bolu kisko
Dhundna pad raha tha woh shaks
Bachpan Kya khaak tha woh
Bas lutne ka ehsaas tha woh.
Baras beetein phir maa ne pucha
Kya aish ki meri beti ne mere peeche se bol
Chin si gayi thi boli Kya bole beti ye
Kamane nikle thi shohrat
Kho baethi thi beti ko woh. 

Har Raat

 Sab baatein kahi nai jaati

Jaise woh gam jo saalo se mere andar pal raha

Zehan me zinda hai par labo pe nami

Jaise ruke hue aansu in aankhon me

Jo gaalo se mudkar hain

Jaise woh udaasi bhari raat

Ya fir raatein

Jo bhulayi nahi jaati

Ya phir woh akelapan

Jo apno Ke beech ka hai

Bas rehta hi hai Na jaane kyu har pehr

Ye sab baatein boli nahi ja sakti

Kyuki raat toh bas chadi hai ae dost

Ye guzre hue pal ka sannata toh abhi baaki hai

Thoda is raat chalega

Thoda us raat

Bahega ye dil jo sabse kuch nai kehta

Aaj ek ehsan aur karegi ye raat mujhpe

Rahegi chup jab sawera puchega

Ki ye takiye aaj phir gile kyu hain? 

'That' Child of Mine

Those little hands that whisper love
Those little hugs that whisper closeness
'stay close' mum was the magic word
I tried to kiss your rosy lips today
But a part of you somewhat remained. 
While most of it stirred up in the air.

'Make the most of it' was a story so told
And I did until life curled up in myriad wraps
Little by little everytime you wrapped your arms around me
I had whispered, 'just a little more of this memory to hold'. 

You were born in a pool of blood,
You left, so that.
You were the precious time everybody talked about, 
Wouldn't trade those moments for an ounce of anything else.

I ll always remain your mama
So be it any way
Love you my child, oh please you listen
Don't unwrap those curly arms
This time you fall asleep. 

Gone

The shallow night I reckon
When a glimpse of you was suffice
To make me feel complete.
The lapse between sunset & sunrise
Is the hour we connect between. 

Ek afsana

Yaad use bhi ek adhoora afsana hoga

Jo poora na kar sake

Shayad ek wahi bahana hoga.

Teri itni garimat ke tu humpe meherbaan itna

Jis gali tu Thera, 

Wahi tere mehboob ka aana jana hoga. 

Ek Raaz

उस मुस्कराहट के पीछे एक राज़ था

वक़्त गुज़रा पर तू फिर भी साथ था 

गम की घडी तोह कुछ पल ही टेहरी 

तेरी मोहब्बत में बीतें कल का एहसास था 

मिल जा एक आखरी बार 

मेरे दुनिया में खोने से पहले 

सरकती आहटों को दिल में 

डूबोने से पहले 

हम जानते हैं ऐ दिलबर की वह 

तेरा आज था 

उस किताब में लिखी शायरी के पीछे तू 

बेनक़ाब था

ठहर कर तोह देख इस बारिश को दो पहर 

पैमाने की तरह बह रही है बादल  से 

जाने  किस आस में रो रहा है वह शहर 

वक़्त के लब से चुरा लू तुझे इस जनम 

उन आहटों का कोई तोह मतलब साफ़ था 

उस मुस्कराहट के पीछे एक राज़ था

उस मुस्कराहट के पीछे कोई राज़ था. 

Aks (2)

Teri muskaan me woh ada ho,
Jo keemat lagaye sone ki
Dil jeet le tu aise
Jaise judai bas ek lafz ho.

Kaape woh zameen jahan tera aks nahin
Bikti hain muskurahat do pal ki kuch is kadar
Jo Dekhe woh pehchaan paaye
Sugandh teri fitrat ki ho kuch is kadar,
Bina mehsoos kare use koi
Teri rooh qayamat laaye. 

Mohabbat

ये कैसी कश्मकश है रे दिलबर 

इतने करीब होकर भी, इतने दूर हैं 

रुस्वा सी लग रही है ये ज़िन्दगी, 

जिसका कोई ज़र्रा हमे मिलवाने में 

कामियाब नहीं

इश्क़ जो एक क़यामत तक चला 

वह भी मेरी नफ़स से मजबूर हैं 

अब मत करो और ग़मग़ीन इस जान को 

ज़िन्दगी का तोह पता नहीं 

पर हम तेरे इश्क़ में अब भी चूर हैं. 

Vulnerability

Has been a while to my ‘disability’
I have been around,
Yet desolated.

The faded harmony
The gone such pleasures of life
Why does it seem unworthy?
To twinkle those eyes,
Those once did, so bright.

The momentum has been shaken
So did such symmetrical joys
Hold onto the beginnings,
 I once whispered
because she has been vulnerable.
To all.

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen

Dastak

Mehsoos karna meri rooh ka deewanapan
jo tumse bichad kar kahi laapata hai

Ye dil to wahi hai jo pyar ka paimana peeta hai
Par dhadkan woh nahi jo
Teri jaan ki nazar par mit sakein.

TRANSLATED IN HINDI BELOW --

(मेहसूस करना मेरी रूह का दीवानापन
जो तुमसे बिछड़ कर कही लापता है

ये दिल तो वही है जो प्यार का पैमाना पीता है
पर धड़कन वह नहीं जो
तेरी जान की नज़र पर मिट सकें !!)

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen

Gum-Naam

Gumnaam hai woh jo dard ka alfaaz jaante hain,
Kismat ki nahi, Dil ki fariyaad jaante hain,

Mohabbat thi to bayaan kuch is tarah karte,
Jaise labon se narazgi ek silsila banke bahi ho,
Wahi aah, wahi moh
Wahi sur jo tumhare honthon se roothkar,
Mere dil me dastak de....

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen

Laughter

One day
it came just like the waves of the ocean
and swept away her darkest secrets.

Her laughter;
her virtues
her adolescence
her curves
her sorrow

Her anxiety and
It just left her with the absurdity of life
that she was being played by.
Death & Her was her final choice.
One to the right and one to the left.
After which the only happiness she envisioned was
being dead.

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen

Meet me

Meet me in the falling of leaves
where everything turns golden and coffee brown
the moment of haze that brings the love in us.

Then, meet me again in the world of snow
where the feeling of you is frozen in a leaf
and being us requires the compassion we have missed.

Ehsas

Aaj kalam uthayi
Toh yaad aaya
Ki Zindagi ke chaar din
Abhi aur baaki hain

Woh pal
Jo beetein nahi
Saansein abhi lete hue.

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen

Living Art

The painting that I once had in my living room,

Was now broken into the tiniest colorful pieces

By the woman on the wheelchair who called herself

My ‘stepmother.’

The walls are like a sea,

Colorless and full of pale faces.

I wanted to visit my house again,

To be able to look at my broken painting.

The gift that was given by my father.

I wanted to re-live those thrilled moments,

Where all I saw was happy faces.

I wanted to be written in the book of memories,

Like every day was meaningful

Until I remembered the same painting.

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen

Nazranaa

"Aansu bhi ajeeb hote hain

Jab behne ka waqt na ho

Tab dil ke kareeb hote hain

Zaahir hai ruk nahi paate tab woh lafz

Jo ashko me behke

mohabbat ki dastan kehte hain."

"Unhi palo me jee liye hum, jaha tum the (X 2)

Yunhi chal diye phir 

Jaha tumhare tanha dil ki arzoo ne 

nazranaa diya."

"Kehte the woh ye chupaya nahi karte

Dil ki baaton ka dard bhulaya nahi karte

Raatein to humne bhi badi kaati hai

Zehan pe lafzo ki churiyaan chalaya nahi karte."

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen

Mirage

I had walked up to her thinking I am forgiven

The day had just begun

The new gift of time that I was given

I had known she was the one.

She rose like a light beneath the clouds

Sinking down the river she waved so high

I chose to find her among the crowd

She smirked and flew to touch the sky.

She was an epitome of beauty I had ever seen

Blue eyes with those sharp features

Ready to be dirty yet so clean

I wondered, if god mistakenly created such creatures.

As I got closer, she did not sit still

So She thought I might harm her

Leaned back and flew up the hill

I felt as if my mind was being stir.

I then had named her a mirage

She was a living creature; seemed a montage.

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen

'Mom' Phaseout

Had there been a day when she did not shed a tear
I would have forgiven her
for the sake, of a connection everyone was bound to discern
I knew days would pass
and so would the years
then there will be a time when I'll face her so changed.
changed enough to not know what I looked like,
The truth, the gravity of comprehending that I had grown
grown into a woman she hadn't known.

We felt like it was our prime meet

like despite being acquaintances

we were intruders; aliens to the faces we had hugged and kissed

Once.

It never felt so dewy and untouched,

but I had known that was it.

A new 'phase' was born,

Estranged.

The bleak vision behind the glass
had made me see that it was failing with desperation
the one I had once uttered 'maa' to,
was now like a seasoned fruit
who just appeared during her need.
I wonder why wasn't I in bewilderment?
rather, I had absorbed the dew on the grass
and moved on with that tear once shed.

Ever since then, I have lived.. I have died

within the open space of my house

have talked to the windows and wine glasses

about sadness of my own,

Not knowing that there is a part of me

already so wrecked

that it refuses to bloom again.

Copyright © Latikaa Sareen

Soulful Puppy

He is that what no one else is, 

He is the kind of support everybody searched for

Those eyes full of glitter, 

Hands that of velvet...

Nothing is gorgeous than having a glimpse of him

Before the sun and after the dawn. 

He is my utmost desire
Full of amour and my holy wish
Without him it is a world without sun

People called him by different names
I have my own though
But I did not want to reveal him
Because of the world being impure.

He is full of composure
He is full of wilderness
He is what we call unconditional love
He is a tale of purity..Eddy is what he is.